1. |
||||
|
Guess who’s back
Back again
Uncle’s back
Tell a friend
Uncle’s back
(x7)
I’ve created a sentry
‘Cause nobody wants a Dispenser no more
They want a killer to deliver
Well if you want Uncle, this is what I’ll give ya
A little bitty Mini with a Widowmaker
Couple shots that’ll straight up drop a medic and a heavy combo
They hop to the restock closet
As the round time left on the clock is fading
And I’m top of the scoreboard, I’m dominating
You kids in the comments can stop debating
If I’ll make another mixtape, it’s long awaited
I know you’re trying to blow a conch to save me
But I’ve got five pocket medics on me baby
I’m an Engineer fuckin’ wit' ya ears, tryin’ to keep things weird
Tryin’ to show his peers
That all you can do is sit here and call me queer
But you’d never do this in a million years
So, come on and build a gun on the hill
Fuck that - a gun in your grill, and farmin’ the kills
And get ready, cause this guy’s gonna rage-heavy
I just hit three hundred thousand
Fuck you Delfy!
So lay back and let’s drink some beer
And everybody, move up your gear
‘Cause we need a little, dispenser here
‘Cause I feel like playin’ Engineer
(x2)
Little nephews, it’s a wonder I get views
All I do is jizz that my Engineer set rules
I start feeling like the people with these views
Have never watched a second of my channel
And that’s cool
He mains Engie, brain must be empty
Started a revolution, pollutin’ the game state
A Valve shill
Well let me make things clear that Engineer
Is the only thing a tiny bit weird
Besides my white beard
I never asked for this
I never passed any class
To read a mountain of sass
But now I’m Batman
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Put a mask on when I wanna play a game of Badlands
But then again, I can’t exactly take this shit for granted
All I wanna do is show the world the Engie’s not a turtle
It’s interesting - what I think is the best thing
Interests these kids who watch vids, no resting
Testing: your minds are free
To have a thought that doesn’t involve what me
And all the YouTubers think about what should be
On the patch notes when it updates for free
So lay back and let’s drink some beer
And everybody, move up your gear
‘Cause we need a little, dispenser here
‘Cause I feel like playin’ Engineer
(x2)
|
||||
2. |
MED DOWN
02:46
|
|||
|
Nobody play with me
Spies get away from me
Waaaay...
(Yeah! Yeah!)
Ay, I require heavy sandwiches and medic overheal
I’m about to make a fuckin’ play that Lucky Luke will feel
Loaded all my shots, I’m in my spot with both hands on the wheel
Get on my cam, because you’ll want this up in your demo reel
I can see their Medic sittin’ there without a hint of
What I’m ‘bout to do next - more oblivious than Mike Scott
Oooh, dat Heavy’s good, but he won’t see me: The Engie Bomb
Yo, give me an opening and just consider him gone
DM ‘til the AM, I am the M of this PUG
Pissin’ off the DM, playin’ D&D - that’s luck
If you try to BM, me still be the greatest, punk
I just quit this season because I don’t need this junk
My last vid just went viral
Next vid’ll put subbies in a spiral
Behind the scenes I like to make the Medic’s die, tho
There’s secret to it I know, bitch
In tunnel
Med down, in tunnel
Med down, in tunnel
Med down, in tunnel
Med down, in tunnel
Med down, in tunnel
Med down, in tunnel
Med down, in tunnel
Med down
Who dat Scout thinkin’ that he walkin’ on my land
Get the fuck off my flank with the Sandman
Get the fuck off that point - out my scene
I’ll make a play fuckin’ up your whole team
I’m so fuckin’ sick and tired of the Overwatch
Please compare this game to something good like Quake: Live
Compare it to a game that’s not a Fisher-Price FPS
Keep your clusterfuck roster, I’ll take my nine classes any day
And that’s not that crazy, ay
You too scared to play me, ay
Throw a wrench into the fray
If you want a crazy game
Hackers do not phase me, ay
I do not play DayZ, ay
Never even blazed it, ay
White beard, never shave it, ay
I’m CGP Grey, meets Dunkey mixed with Vsauce, ay
Watch my frag vids, and let’s hear the Meds talk, ay
If I kill a Medic, it won’t be an accident, ay
I’m not pending in fact I’m sent, bitch
In tunnel
Med down, in tunnel
Med down, in tunnel
Med down, in tunnel
Med down, in tunnel
Med down, in tunnel
Med down, in tunnel
Med down, in tunnel
|
||||
3. |
||||
4. |
Lenny Bind
02:05
|
|||
|
I was playing TF2 the other night
When I suddenly saw the most epic sight
A player on the other team all dressed in green
Brightest loadout of all humankind
We fought each other long and hard - both one on one
But he was dodging left and right, shooting his gun
And finally after a fair fight when he won
In the chat he dropped his Lenny Bind
Did you see that guy?
He’s so hip and fly
He’s the coolest guy
'Cause he’s got a Lenny Bind
Look at his weapon shine
Check out that funny sign
He has the superior mind
He got a Lenny-
Bind me to my word, this is the truth
The absolute coolest thing about the youth
Is their hilarious, original, clever quips
I wish that I could ever be that smooth
So when this Scout main owned me in a fight
I was speechless, no way to comeback to the bright
Funny and simply epic chat response
With nothing that could beat a Lenny Bind
Did you see that guy
He’s so hip and fly
He’s the coolest guy
'Cause he’s got a Lenny Bind
Just hang me out to dry
Cause I’m about to cry
Can I get my weapon signed?
He’s got a Lenny Bind
(Papi Break)
Did you see that guy?
He’s so hip and fly
He’s the coolest guy
'Cause he’s got a Lenny Bind
He shot me and I died
Then owned me with a bind
He’s confident and so kind
He's got a Lenny Bind
|
||||
5. |
6v6
03:56
|
|||
|
Playin 6v6 with my bros
Countin’ dominations how it goes
Pray our Medics live forever, man
Pray the hackers get exposed
I want a dispenser over here
I’ll stab someone’s back ‘n disappear
Killed you with the Huntsman, that’s on purpose
Gibus gettin’ carried don’t deserve it
They don’t like how serious I take this game
Yelling in the chat my teammates are to blame
You’re 0-10 man, I don’t have no time for that
AFK in spawn, you get vote kicked for that
Yo, front’s where you find me at
At mid’s where you’ll find me at
I knew player named Steven Serge
Relatable YouTuber gamer Ster
He put me on to that TF2
That was back when I was just a noob
Then Gun Mettle dropped, it was reskins and contracts
Man, that’s when they add snowplow after the backlash
Man I’m talkin’ way before Highpass
I was playin’ 6v6 with my bros
Yeuh
I was playin’ 6v6 with my bros
Where did that Medic go
Where did that Medic go
Where did that Medic go
Playin’ 6v6 with my bros
Where did that Medic go
Where did that Medic go
Where did that Medic go
Don’t fuck with my team dude, they’s is a Death Merchant, whoa
Look at my Uber glow
Here - take my sandvich, it’s made out of sourdough
My team is here I got Solly and Sniper and Engie and Heavy
And whoa
And where did my Medic go...
I might declare it a win if our Demoman hadn’t decided to throw
Yeah, but where did that Medic go
Their team irrational, go back to casual
Where did their fashion go, whoa
My buddy Pazer, he heal me, we both have Unusuals
Entrance up, exit up, build it up, level up
Gotta get more that ammo
I’m turnin’ into a player that thinks about fraggin’ and winnin’
Like 24/7, that’s where this game took me
That’s just how it happened to go
And you know...
I was playin’ 6v6 with my...
With my...
I was playin’ 6v6 with my bros
Where did that Medic go
Where did that Medic go
Where did that Medic go
Playin’ 6v6 with my bros
Where did that Medic go
Where did that Medic go
Where did that Medic go
Playin’ 6v6 with my bros
(6v6 break)
With my bros...
|
||||
6. |
||||
7. |
Engie Man
02:03
|
|||
|
Engie Man
With a robot hand
Build dispensers and
Sentries in the sand
Engie Man
Take the teleporter to the front, was a good trip
Engie Man
You best have a plan man, or else you’re banned
Bustin' out the killstreaker Jag
Engie Man
Can you please put a sentry over here, near the giant fan
Engie Man
Those Spies are elusive, but don’t chase them
Or you’ll get trick stabbed
Engie Man
This defense isn’t going according to plan
Better use your killstreaker Jag
Engie Man
Engie Man
Engie Man
Ancle Dan
How’d you get your building
To appear in hand
From across the land
Ancle Dan
Your hats and your weapons are so cool, you’re so epic
Ancle Dan
For Crasmas I demand a vintage kratzcrag
I promise I’m your number one fan
Engie Man
Can you please put a sentry over there, near the broken van
Engie Man
Those Spies are elusive, but don’t chase them
Or you’ll get trick stabbed
Engie Man
This defense isn’t going according to plan
Whippin’ out that killstreaker Jag
Engie Man
|
||||
8. |
Build A Sentry
03:24
|
|||
|
I fly like Soldier, jump high like Scout
If you catch me in the spawn room I got pizza in my mouth
If you come around here, I’ll build Dispenser
I’ll get one down in a second if you’re hurt
(x2)
Sometimes I get hit by the trains
Every time I swear I’m gonna unselect Freight
Everyone’s a bully, shootin’ my brain
Better not make fun of my weapon’s nickname
(x2)
All I wanna do is (shotgun x4)
And I (wrench + gun)
And build a sentry
(x4)
Pirate hats and gnomes
Pistol skins and meat and cones
Runnin’ while we shoot ‘em
Little Pyro for protection
(x2)
No one on the market got swagger like us
Got banana hats and killstreak strange guns
We wrap and deliver YouTuber signed stuff
You pay an extra key for the trouble it costs
(x2)
All I wanna do is (shotgun x4)
And I (wrench + gun)
And build a sentry
(x4)
Uncle Dane...
Third Campaign 2017...
Yeah, I got more spawn room snacks than a LAN party
So… don’t bother me…
You ready, ya’ll?
Some, some, sometimes it’s a burger
Sometimes it’s a taco
Some, some, sometimes it’s a burger
Sometimes it’s a taco
All I wanna do is (shotgun x4)
And I (wrench + gun)
And build a sentry
(x4)
|
||||
9. |
||||
|
Bro, you’re my pocket, you’re my darling pocket
Stomp the server when we use kritzkrieg, baby
Shawty you’re my pocket, you’re my darling pocket
You give me heals when I’m in need, baby
Pubs are one big farm for your strange gun
But who’s gonna have your back when your team’s gone?
It seems good when you’re taking on 1v1s
Don’t be a noob, son - you need a pocket medi gun
Looking back, I see my bro’s apprehension
Can we really dry push on this sentry gun
But I was sure we’d get ten dominations
And this dedication is to the pocketation
Bro you’re my pocket, you’re my darling pocket
Stomp the server when we use kritzkrieg, baby
Shawty you’re my pocket, you’re my darling pocket
You give me heals when I’m in need, baby
You’re a God when it comes to overhealing
But you never got protection that you needed
Then one day you saw me broken and bleeded
Healed me and proceeded, objective completed
And we’ve never been apart from that day on
Giving pubbers a-a run-run-run for their mon-mon
I know it’s odd to have feelings that are this strong
For a dude’s medi gun who shoves it up my bun-bun
Bro you’re my pocket, you’re my darling pocket
Stomp the server when we use kritzkrieg, baby
Shawty you’re my pocket, you’re my darling pocket
You give me heals when I’m in need, baby
Dude, come on and use your Uber
On this YouTuber
(I’ll never drop you, you’re my bruh)
Let’s use the Kritz because they’re grouped up
They really fooked up
(Now rain your rockets from above)
Now switch to Quickfix and we’ll jump around
And now we’ll really pound
(Look now I’m flying like a dove)
And then it’s time to switch to the Vacc
Because that Sniper hacks
(You’ll never die to a headshot)
Pubs are one big farm for your strange gun
But who’s gonna have your back when your team’s gone?
It seems good when you’re taking on 1v1s
Don’t be a noob, son - you need a pocket medi gun
Looking back, I see my bro’s apprehension
Can we really dry push on this sentry gun
But I was sure we’d get ten dominations
And this dedication is to the pocketation
Bro you’re my pocket, you’re my darling pocket
Stomp the server when we use kritzkrieg, baby
Shawty you’re my pocket, you’re my darling pocket
You give me heals when I’m in need, baby
|
||||
10. |
Nope
03:39
|
|||
|
Ever whiff on a shot? (Nope)
Ever farm a bot? (Yeah)
Ever met somebody better? (Nope)
Ever help an Engie out when he was low on his metal? (Yeah)
Spy sap? (Nope)
You good player, you attack? (Yeah)
Lemme borrow that shotgun. (Nope)
Think stuns are not fun? (Yeah)
Stock weapons every loadout? (Nope)
When the gates open, go out? (Yeah)
Babysit a level one? (Nope)
Boy you better run. (Yeah)
You a feeder? (Nope)
Killer? (Yeah)
Email Eric? (Nope)
Driller? (Yeah)
You building on last? (Nope)
Now you upfront, beating on some ass? (Yeah)
Got a little killstreak? (Nope)
Got a Godlike; gotta do it all week? (Yeah)
Spamming E for the Medic? (Nope)
Pickin’ up the medkit? (Yeah)
Bout’a die with your crits? (Nope)
Rockin’ dope outfits? (Yeah)
Everybody builds sentries
I choose to build sentries on top of this shed
Everybody builds sentries
I’m shooting at dudes but they already dead
Everybody builds sentries
Keepin' my name at the top of that board
Everybody builds sentries
These players be hatin’, I already dominate
Never go down
(No no) I’mma stay and get metal (Yeah yeah yeah)
I ain’t gotta wear a crown.
(No no) I’mma stay and get metal (Yeah yeah yeah)
If you dead, you ain’t like me.
(No no) I’mma stay and get metal (Yeah yeah yeah)
I give a fuck if you don’t like me.
(No no) I’mma stay and get metal (Yeah yeah yeah)
Lazy? (Nope)
Got a wrench that’ll drive a Spy crazy? (Yeah)
Mentor? (Nope)
Erectin’ a dispenser? (Yeah)
Trader? (Nope)
Loyal to your team; not a baiter? (Yeah)
Cheap? (Nope)
Play support to keep your team on their feet? (Yeah)
Scared of an Uber? (Nope)
You goofy goober? (Yeah)
Belly? (Nope)
Tele? (Yeah)
Miss everything and die? (Nope)
Check the corner for a Spy? (Yeah)
Trust us? (Nope)
Justice? (Yeah)
Drinkin’ like a Demo? (Nope)
Share a beer with a fella? (Yeah)
Pomson? (Nope)
Swanson? (Yeah)
Never leave the spawn without a hat. (Nope)
Punch a motherfucker with a “BAP”. (Yeah)
Never let a friendly live a second. (Nope)
Always on my toes, spy checkin’. (Yeah)
Everybody builds sentries
I choose to build sentries on top of this shed
Everybody builds sentries
I’m shooting at dudes but they already dead
Everybody builds sentries
Keepin' my name at the top of the board
Everybody builds sentries
These players be hatin, I already dominate
Never go down
(No no) I’mma stay and get metal (Yeah yeah yeah)
I ain’t gotta wear a crown
(No no) I’mma stay and get metal (Yeah yeah yeah)
If you dead, you ain’t like me
(No no) I’mma stay and get metal (Yeah yeah yeah)
I give a fuck if you don’t like me
(No no) I’mma stay and get metal (Yeah yeah yeah)
|
||||
11. |
Casual Mode Anthem
02:00
|
|||
|
There's five people AFK and my team
Has just installed today and I've seen
At least three Spies with no idea
What is going on inside their brain?
There's no way to predict what you'll find
There's no way to understand the mind
Of a person with a half-a-brain
How can you know what that guy's gonna do?
There's five people AFK and my team
Has just installed today and I've seen
At least three Spies with no idea
What is fuckin' happening? WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?
There's five people AFK and my team
Has just installed today and I've seen
At least three Spies with no idea
What is going on inside their brain?
There's no way to predict what you'll find
There's no way to understand the mind
Of a person with a half-a-brain
How can you know what that guy's gonna do?
(La la la la la la)
There's no way to predict what you'll find
There's no way to understand the mind
Of a person with a half-a-brain
How can you know what that guy's gonna do?
There's five people AFK and my team
Has just installed today and I've seen
At least three Spies with no idea
What is going on inside their brain?
There's five people AFK and my team
Has just installed today and I've seen
At least three Spies with no idea
What is going on inside their brain?
|
||||
12. |
Ambassador
02:23
|
|||
|
The Ambassador’s broke
The Ambassador’s broke
The Ambassador’s broke, no fun unless you upfront, son
Shy guy named “DIE” used to main Amby Spy
Big dope long range killer, he was makin’ ‘em die
Wasn’t playin’ as Sniper but still gettin’ the headshots
But then Valvey threw that nerf on, now he aim like easy bots
And now it’s miss, miss, miss
Cause when he tries to cheese it, there’s no swiss
What’s makin’ that sound, oh it’s a Spies clenched fist
I’m happy now that Spy mains are so pissed
Cause that’s some dumb shiiiiiiii-
By the way, that you play
I can tell you ain’t havin’ no chill
Come on up and stab me or are you a lil grill
Fuckin’ dead ringer shill who can barely get a kill
You keep tellin’ me it’s skill, that you’ve got a role to fill
Play broken subclass ‘cause he never gets a stab
So I pull it out my bag, and I crit him with the Jag
Like bappity-bappity-bap-bap-bap
The Ambassador’s broke
The Ambassador’s broke
The Ambassador’s broke, no fun unless you upfront, son
Oh my Gosh… look at that Bap
Oh my Gosh… look at that Bap
Oh my Gosh… look at that Bap
(Look at that Bap)
Look at, look at, look at
Look, at that Bap
This dude named “$T1N63R” used to use the Dead Ringer
Shot him 5 times with my pistol, I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout Winger
Real pussy-ass player, shooting blanks with my rifle
But then they hit it with a nerf and now he callin’ me spiteful
Now I’m like bang, bang, bang
Run for that ammo now you little shit stain
Can’t escape me now that you can’t spam feigns
Don’t like this song, well you can blame uberchain
This is some dumb shiiiiii-
By the way, that you play
I can tell you ain’t havin’ no chill
Come on up and stab me or are you a lil grill
Fuckin’ dead ringer shill who can barely get a kill
You keep tellin me it’s skill, that you’ve got a role to fill
Play broken subclass ‘cause he never gets a stab
So I pull it out my bag, and I crit him with the Jag
Like bappity-bappity-bap-bap-bap
The Ambassador’s broke
The Ambassador’s broke
The Ambassador’s broke, no fun unless you upfront, son
Oh my Gosh… look at that Bap
Oh my Gosh… look at that Bap
Oh my Gosh… look at that Bap
(Look at that Bap)
Look at, look at, look at
Look, at that Bap
|
||||
13. |
||||
|
My name is Uncle
Dane, I have a dream about a
Team that would help
Me setup my sentry gun
And there’s a Pyro
Leaving me all alone
But he doesn’t know who I am
And this team don’t give a damn about me
‘Cause they’re just my shitty teammates, baby
Yeah, they’re just my shitty teammates, baby
Taking my metal in setup, baby
From me
Ooo ooo OOOOooo
This Medic’s a dick
He takes out his needle gun
I’d honestly kick
If half my team knew how useless
This guy is being
I tell him, “suck on my ween”
But he doesn’t care where I am
And this team don’t give a damn about me
‘Cause I’m just a shitty teammate, baby
Yeah, I’m just a shitty teammate baby
Complain about losing the pub now, baby
Why me?
Ooo Ooo OOOOOoooo
Oh yeah!
I nag!
And, they shoot their guns but they’re missin’
Oh yeah!
They’re bad!
Oh, they shoot their guns but they’re missin’
Man, I’m feeling old
I’m on roof and I am lonely
Lo and behold
Someone comes over to me
A friendly Scout
But I have my doubt
How does he know who I am?
And why does he give a damn about me?
I’ve got this roof on lockdown - I’ll spy-check, baby
Guard you as you build your gun up, safely
I’m just a shitty teammate, baby
Like you
Ooo ooo OOOOoooo
Oh yeah!
We’ll frag
Oh, they shoot their guns but they’re missin’
Oh yeah!
We’ll frag
Oh, they shoot their guns but they’re missin’
|
||||
14. |
||||
|
For a long time we’ve been fighting over gravel
With no healer around, no doubt we’ll lose the battle
Between the awful teams & chat bind memes
We want this round to end
Hey! Think of instead, a Medic Girlfriend…
Huh?
That’s what I said! A Medic Girlfriend…
She’d wear a beak of Circling Hearts
With killstreak eyes of fire
My girl will marvel at my kills
As I shield her from gunfire
I couldn’t care what hats she wears or what she looks like
It all depends on what she equips like
Kritz, Vacc, Uber… Ooooohhh….
Bet the Casual Meds think you are quite the pocket
And I’ll bet the ladies love Australium rocket (launchers)
You can bet that we could use a girl
Who’d help our wounds to mend
What do we want?
A Medic Girlfriend!
My girl will think I have no deaths
That I’m an epic guy
Uhh… how ‘bout a girl who’s multi-class?
Who picks what her team needs? (NAH!)
My perfect runs and Hale’s Own guns are sure to thrill her!
He thinks he’s such a great pubstomper…
I’ve a girl back home who always likes to heal me
Bet the only girl who’d heal him plays as Mercy
And to say that we are desperate nerds is something we’ll contend
But I really want...
A Medic Girlfriend!
Wish that I had...
A Medic Girlfriend!
(Whistle)
A Medic GIRLFRIEN
|
||||
Uncle Dane California
I'm not a musician but I do it anyway.
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